Returning to the Process

After 3 weeks of studying Monasticism, I am finished with it and ready to begin the more active part of my new year. Real reading, writing, and learning will soon commence... along with it abundances of new thoughts, relationships, decisions, work, and life.

Somewhere over the past few months, in spite of the multitudinous goodness I've experienced, I have forgotten not to worry. I was never much of a worrier in life, just too much of a thinker. Lately those things have merged, were my excessive thinking has become excessive (and certainly unfounded) worrying. Metaphors of Lilies and Birds of Fields remind me that I have little faith and that I shall certainly be provided for (and have been more than most)... yet the obscurity of my future constantly makes me doubt, and creates fears of _______ : will I do what I should, what should I?

I'll offer a short quote from Rosie Thomas' website:

One night in suburban Detroit, a twelve-year-old Rosie Thomas lay sleepless in her bed, obsessively dwelling on what she perceived to be her lack of life purpose. Then, well after 2 AM, it suddenly hit her. She sprung up and raced down the hall. “Daddy, Daddy, I know what my mission in life is,” Rosie exclaimed, poking her father. “I just want to entertain people.”

I suppose I too am guilty of that obsessive dwelling... my answers have never been quite as straightforward as hers, nor did they come at the young age of 12. I guess more than anything I want to help people to understand (or be able to have) what is necessary to truly live, and to live that life myself. My mind has changed many times as to what doing that actually looks like:

lawyer for justice!
writer of truths!
teacher of wisdom!
politician of change!
minister of love!
Doer of Deeds!

Well, like he said... let's get back to today.