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8.10.2007
7.16.2007
After a couple months of confusion, my mind comes to rest. No perfect answers yet, but a hopeful understanding. I realize that my worry and lack of vision were somewhat unwarranted; they were, however, very real. I think I spent more hours feeling stressed and dismayed the past two months than most of the rest of my life combined.
Such is graduating. Such is 'growing up' ?
This passage has shaped my thinking:
So that we may live the life that is truly life.
I want to live this true life, with its Good News.
I certainly have not been lately: my own fault.
I have struggled to figure out how I--with my ideals, my God, my ideas, my mission, my purpose, my mind--fit into the work of the world. I keep hearing two opposites:
- You are not special, no more deserving, no different than anyone else
vs.
- You are set apart, not of this world, a different background, perspective, mind
I started off my post-collegiate career badly...
First, requesting to work at my Dad's company. Hoping that the family business was something I could do, should do, be good at, and enjoy. After recovering from a minor breakdown on the first day, the ensuing few weeks have made it painfully obvious that I am not supposed to do this work, at least not currently. I wish I could make good this opportunity, and make good the father/son office team. A good note: I have learned a lot more about the company in the past month than in my prior 21 years of knowing it. I regret that I mixed up my family so dramatically in my search for work, but they are gracious...
So, I am ready to go headlong into work and life.
God is much more faithful than I have often been, or given him credit for.
A lot of me does not want to leave Pittsburgh or my family and things the things, places, people, I know and love....but I think it may be necessary and good for a while.
After being all worry.doubt.whatnext.whatGod.iamwho.confuse. for a lot of time. not being downcast and unknown to myself: feels like waking up. i am more fragile than i thought, and not in just my knees.
so, where to?
Such is graduating. Such is 'growing up' ?
This passage has shaped my thinking:
1 Timothy 6:17-19
Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.
So that we may live the life that is truly life.
I want to live this true life, with its Good News.
I certainly have not been lately: my own fault.
I have struggled to figure out how I--with my ideals, my God, my ideas, my mission, my purpose, my mind--fit into the work of the world. I keep hearing two opposites:
- You are not special, no more deserving, no different than anyone else
vs.
- You are set apart, not of this world, a different background, perspective, mind
I started off my post-collegiate career badly...
First, requesting to work at my Dad's company. Hoping that the family business was something I could do, should do, be good at, and enjoy. After recovering from a minor breakdown on the first day, the ensuing few weeks have made it painfully obvious that I am not supposed to do this work, at least not currently. I wish I could make good this opportunity, and make good the father/son office team. A good note: I have learned a lot more about the company in the past month than in my prior 21 years of knowing it. I regret that I mixed up my family so dramatically in my search for work, but they are gracious...
So, I am ready to go headlong into work and life.
God is much more faithful than I have often been, or given him credit for.
A lot of me does not want to leave Pittsburgh or my family and things the things, places, people, I know and love....but I think it may be necessary and good for a while.
After being all worry.doubt.whatnext.whatGod.iamwho.confuse. for a lot of time. not being downcast and unknown to myself: feels like waking up. i am more fragile than i thought, and not in just my knees.
so, where to?
6.05.2007
To begin with the most common of all blog posts:
I haven't posted on here for a while...
Life after graduation has been a whirlwind of joys, restfulness, and restlessness. I am daily rehabbing my ACL tear, trying to find a job, researching all of work to see what I ought to do.
The new 'digs' are sweet. Some may think them just OK, but I am daily impressed and excited about our place above Doug's Butcher/Market. We have a wonderful landlord, good location, cool neighborhood, cheap price, lots of space, free furniture, and an extremely functional apartment.
Most days the last two weeks have looked as such: wake up, eat cereal, exercise, quiet time, read a book, research job opportunities/grad schools/law schools on the computer, think, think, pray, pray, organize the house, accomplish t0-do list items, apply for at least one job, hang with family or friends.
I want rather eagerly to start working, but, after seeing how much work has affected other people's lives, it is not something I want to go into lightly, even if it is only short-term work. I know from past experiences that work and life are not inextricable and that what I do for my job will have an enormous effect on my spiritual life and the person I become and am able to be.
Interestingly, a lot of the work I am interested in are things that are very...hands on, very tangible which happen to be the things that I have little or no experience in doing. I am excited about a lot of things in theory, about ideas, about knowledge.
At so many points of decision and opportunity in my life, God has made choices extremely obvious, almost mandatory and they always turned out quite perfectly. My lack of ability to decide anything lately however has caused me a lot of worry and doubt.
I want very much to serve and work with money being secondary. I want work to be a positive part of life.
Yet I know
All things well.
I haven't posted on here for a while...
Life after graduation has been a whirlwind of joys, restfulness, and restlessness. I am daily rehabbing my ACL tear, trying to find a job, researching all of work to see what I ought to do.
The new 'digs' are sweet. Some may think them just OK, but I am daily impressed and excited about our place above Doug's Butcher/Market. We have a wonderful landlord, good location, cool neighborhood, cheap price, lots of space, free furniture, and an extremely functional apartment.
Most days the last two weeks have looked as such: wake up, eat cereal, exercise, quiet time, read a book, research job opportunities/grad schools/law schools on the computer, think, think, pray, pray, organize the house, accomplish t0-do list items, apply for at least one job, hang with family or friends.
I want rather eagerly to start working, but, after seeing how much work has affected other people's lives, it is not something I want to go into lightly, even if it is only short-term work. I know from past experiences that work and life are not inextricable and that what I do for my job will have an enormous effect on my spiritual life and the person I become and am able to be.
Interestingly, a lot of the work I am interested in are things that are very...hands on, very tangible which happen to be the things that I have little or no experience in doing. I am excited about a lot of things in theory, about ideas, about knowledge.
At so many points of decision and opportunity in my life, God has made choices extremely obvious, almost mandatory and they always turned out quite perfectly. My lack of ability to decide anything lately however has caused me a lot of worry and doubt.
I want very much to serve and work with money being secondary. I want work to be a positive part of life.
Yet I know
All things well.
2.19.2007
Redeem or Restart?
Ryan and I were having one of our late-night-in-the-dark-before-bed discussion times and were assessing, among many other things: The State of the Campus, 2007.
We were discussing the many deep-rooted, troubling, and confusing problems that ail Washington & Jefferson and how those things dramatically affect people's lives and the ministry of the Christian Fellowship. Most of the issues had to do with the absolute lack of good community life, the bad perspectives of the students and administration, peoples lack of commitment and time, the lack of good purpose in campus events and initiatives. The biggest problems, especially noted, had to do with Community on campus...and the failures of the administrative planners, especially the Residence Life department, in creating good life for students on campus.
We wondered if our Christian Fellowship would do well to change its structure to something completely based on community and proximity. Last semester, the best, most beneficial aspect of my life was the times spent doing Bible Study, conversing, living life and challenging eachother, with Jake and Ryan. We got together regularly to meet, not because we were part of any organization and had scheduled it that way, but because we felt a genuine need to get together and figure out how to live the life that is truly life that God calls us to.
What if we didn't have Large Groups/Small Groups so-to-speak, but we just had life, with very intentional times of worship, study, discussion, accountability, etc. It seems right now that the way we attempt to shape our "community" is attempting to have the community as the result of the structure, rather than the structure as a result of the community...and it does not seem to be working all that well. Instead, perhaps, we ought to have natural (but very intentional) communities of people sharing life together, who then take challenging, but natural steps to study God's word, encourage each other, worship, and discuss his Kingdom and how we should live out life.
Certainly structure is good, and we should have people come all together at times, but maybe with a more purposeful and less obligatory perspective.
Towards the end of our conversation, Ryan offered whether or not this campus is a place that ought to be recovered and redeemed, or something that should be (idealistically speaking) scrapped and redone, restarted completely. Is there anything good to work with in this place?
It took me a long while to fall asleep after the conversation... I was trying to assess the state of the campus... what is good here? what is redemptive? what promotes good, true life? what does this place have to offer to us that is truly worthwhile?
Not the architecture and the facilities
Not the Campus events and programs
Not the administration
Not the Residence Life staff and the RAs
Not the sororities and fraternities
Not the athletic teams
Not the academic programs
The best things I can think of are the quality of the faculty and the cafeteria. The two things we consume: knowledge and food.
The worst aspect though, for me, is the failure of the facilities. There is no place on campus for people to meet in a normal life-like setting. There is no homeliness, no community space. Everything is expressly reserved for official gatherings or focused (shhh!) studying.
The dorms pretend to have common spaces but they are, at best, a joke. Full of stingy, over-cluttered, often-broken uncomfortable furniture. Bright, un-inviting fluorescent lighting, noise, large vending machines, trash, often-broken gaming equipment/tables.
To make up for the lack of community space and togetherness and because of individualistic tendencies... students create little self-sustaining worlds within their dorm rooms so that they need never venture out. Almost every little one or two person room has its own TV (or two), refridgerator, microwave, video gaming system, computer, stash of food, fancy chairs, etc.
But who wants to hang out in people's dorm rooms? They're small, cluttered, and not conducive to any sort of activity other than watching tv/playing video games.
In addition to all this... our good friend Jake who has been a good, enthusiastic, hard working RA for the past two years was turned down when he applied for the a CA position. Other, less-qualified people were given the job instead...after Jake was assured that he would, indeed, be given the job. The reason cited for him not getting the position was that he was "too much of a disciplinarian" ...this means that he followed the rules about writing up students for illegal behavior more than other people. Most RAs are expected to do absolutely nothing and, in some cases, they should not do anything. I would say that the average % of "illegal" things that RAs report is about .05%, and Jake is too disciplinary because he reports about %2. It is so ironic and wrong that the Residence Life department goes out of its way to make sure that their staff does not do their job and does not enforce the rules they themselves put in place. Brilliant.
Ryan and I were having one of our late-night-in-the-dark-before-bed discussion times and were assessing, among many other things: The State of the Campus, 2007.
We were discussing the many deep-rooted, troubling, and confusing problems that ail Washington & Jefferson and how those things dramatically affect people's lives and the ministry of the Christian Fellowship. Most of the issues had to do with the absolute lack of good community life, the bad perspectives of the students and administration, peoples lack of commitment and time, the lack of good purpose in campus events and initiatives. The biggest problems, especially noted, had to do with Community on campus...and the failures of the administrative planners, especially the Residence Life department, in creating good life for students on campus.
We wondered if our Christian Fellowship would do well to change its structure to something completely based on community and proximity. Last semester, the best, most beneficial aspect of my life was the times spent doing Bible Study, conversing, living life and challenging eachother, with Jake and Ryan. We got together regularly to meet, not because we were part of any organization and had scheduled it that way, but because we felt a genuine need to get together and figure out how to live the life that is truly life that God calls us to.
What if we didn't have Large Groups/Small Groups so-to-speak, but we just had life, with very intentional times of worship, study, discussion, accountability, etc. It seems right now that the way we attempt to shape our "community" is attempting to have the community as the result of the structure, rather than the structure as a result of the community...and it does not seem to be working all that well. Instead, perhaps, we ought to have natural (but very intentional) communities of people sharing life together, who then take challenging, but natural steps to study God's word, encourage each other, worship, and discuss his Kingdom and how we should live out life.
Certainly structure is good, and we should have people come all together at times, but maybe with a more purposeful and less obligatory perspective.
Towards the end of our conversation, Ryan offered whether or not this campus is a place that ought to be recovered and redeemed, or something that should be (idealistically speaking) scrapped and redone, restarted completely. Is there anything good to work with in this place?
It took me a long while to fall asleep after the conversation... I was trying to assess the state of the campus... what is good here? what is redemptive? what promotes good, true life? what does this place have to offer to us that is truly worthwhile?
Not the architecture and the facilities
Not the Campus events and programs
Not the administration
Not the Residence Life staff and the RAs
Not the sororities and fraternities
Not the athletic teams
Not the academic programs
The best things I can think of are the quality of the faculty and the cafeteria. The two things we consume: knowledge and food.
The worst aspect though, for me, is the failure of the facilities. There is no place on campus for people to meet in a normal life-like setting. There is no homeliness, no community space. Everything is expressly reserved for official gatherings or focused (shhh!) studying.
The dorms pretend to have common spaces but they are, at best, a joke. Full of stingy, over-cluttered, often-broken uncomfortable furniture. Bright, un-inviting fluorescent lighting, noise, large vending machines, trash, often-broken gaming equipment/tables.
To make up for the lack of community space and togetherness and because of individualistic tendencies... students create little self-sustaining worlds within their dorm rooms so that they need never venture out. Almost every little one or two person room has its own TV (or two), refridgerator, microwave, video gaming system, computer, stash of food, fancy chairs, etc.
But who wants to hang out in people's dorm rooms? They're small, cluttered, and not conducive to any sort of activity other than watching tv/playing video games.
In addition to all this... our good friend Jake who has been a good, enthusiastic, hard working RA for the past two years was turned down when he applied for the a CA position. Other, less-qualified people were given the job instead...after Jake was assured that he would, indeed, be given the job. The reason cited for him not getting the position was that he was "too much of a disciplinarian" ...this means that he followed the rules about writing up students for illegal behavior more than other people. Most RAs are expected to do absolutely nothing and, in some cases, they should not do anything. I would say that the average % of "illegal" things that RAs report is about .05%, and Jake is too disciplinary because he reports about %2. It is so ironic and wrong that the Residence Life department goes out of its way to make sure that their staff does not do their job and does not enforce the rules they themselves put in place. Brilliant.
2.07.2007
As I consume my Flinstones vitamin for the day, I find it necessary to document for people's enjoyment (and probably Rachel's slight embarrasment) the events surrounding the adventures of one Tubby M. Elephant this past Saturday evening at Grove City College.
Supposedly, Tubby the plastic Elephant was won by Rachel's roommate for good sorority deeds. Upon first meeting the Elephant set my imagination in motion... soon Rachel and I had found that her, in her smallness, could fit nicely inside of Tubby, lid on. And, our good friends Aaron and Christie were somewhere else on campus working diligently on their video editing projects. We decided to employ Tubby to assist us in a swell "Hello!" to Aaron and Christie. After Tubby and Rachel battling the furious campus climate to get to the Media Lab, deception ensued.
Tubby in a Bush
Tubby Overlooks the Horizon
Rachel Joyfully Transports
The Wind is a Big Deal
Brooding Tubby
Rachel gets IN
The Lid is Shut
Aaron Fights the Elephant Without Knowing Rachel is Inside!
Rachel is Proud of her Performance
Tim does not Fit!
Life goal: to not be like a typical victorian-era British male as characterized by the characters of the novels read by me recently, namely George Gissing's The Odd Women
Supposedly, Tubby the plastic Elephant was won by Rachel's roommate for good sorority deeds. Upon first meeting the Elephant set my imagination in motion... soon Rachel and I had found that her, in her smallness, could fit nicely inside of Tubby, lid on. And, our good friends Aaron and Christie were somewhere else on campus working diligently on their video editing projects. We decided to employ Tubby to assist us in a swell "Hello!" to Aaron and Christie. After Tubby and Rachel battling the furious campus climate to get to the Media Lab, deception ensued.
Tubby in a Bush
Tubby Overlooks the Horizon
Rachel Joyfully Transports
The Wind is a Big Deal
Brooding Tubby
Rachel gets IN
The Lid is Shut
Aaron Fights the Elephant Without Knowing Rachel is Inside!
Rachel is Proud of her Performance
Tim does not Fit!
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